We Have Grown Up

I remember the discussions that came from our

young and naive selves.

It was our idea of "family planning".

(Remember the '90's?

It was what you did.)

We decided that we should have more than one child,

they should be close together in age, 

we would raise them.

Then we would enjoy our couple time

for years to come after they grew up and 

were not our responsibility anymore.

Ha!

Those of you who have already walked the 

road we are walking are laughing

with me right now, aren't you?

It all seemed so cut and dried.

Kind of like when I was pregnant for the first time

and made plans to allow the teenagers at church

to babysit my then unborn child.

Ummm, no!

That didn't happen.

I was super protective of my baby and he 

only got to stay with family members for the longest time.

But, it seemed like a great idea

as long as he was safely tucked in my womb.

The Lord is in the process of prying 

my fingers off the daily lives of our offspring.

This is not easy or fun.

We couldn't be more proud of the three

young people that call us their parents.

They are all pursuing new and exciting adventures.

They are all "leaning in" for more 

family time before they take the big leaps

in their futures.

It warms my heart that we are a close family.

It also defies that plan we came up with so long

ago that was so emotionless and cold.

Raise them

and cut them loose.

Ahem.

What was I thinking?

Why didn't I watch how our parents didn't 

stop worrying about and caring for us?

Good grief.

For my many friends with young children

it doesn't necessarily get easier.

I know, 

people told me that and it didn't sink in.

It really can't until you are here.

But, 

I would encourage you to do everything in 

your power to capture those young hearts.

One of the best things we did was to work hard 

to see our children as individuals.

We sought out their strengths.

We came to a realization as they got older that 

they were amazing people in their own right 

and we made a real effort to treat them with 

respect and consideration.

We are not perfect parents.

No one is.

But taking opportunity to talk late into the night

if necessary,

or planning road trips not as much for the destination

but for that time in the car so you can 

chatter away about all sorts of things. 

Sometimes just sitting side by side

with tears streaming when one of them hurts.

Laughing together at family dinners

and welcoming their friends into our home.

Staying connected.....

in this world of electronic disconnect.

These are some of the things that 

have strengthened our relationships.

The Bible speaks about parents not 

exasperating their children.

Its a fine line.

Parenting doesn't stop as they get older but 

the role definitely changes.

You still have your rules and expectations 

but they get fewer and less specific.

At some point you just have to let go and trust.

So having said all that

here I sit waiting for the clock to tick to 8:00 am

and for Jonathan to make his first solo drive home 

from his overnight shift in a vehicle that is new to him.

Am I worried?

Not really.

Am I concerned?

Definitely.

Praying that he stays awake and aware.

They say that driving tired is a lot like 

driving drunk.

So....I'm praying.

My clinging fingers are loosed a bit more

and I will breathe easier when he is home

and sound asleep for the day in preparation

to do it again tonight/tomorrow.

As you know

Chelsea and Mikey will begin their big 

adventures over the next months

and we see the beginnings of our nest emptying.

(I pictured the nest emptying because they 

married and moved into a house nearby not 

going to the other side of the world for school, 

missions and the army.)

It is good.

It is as it should be.

But if one has done their job

it also comes with some much pain.

For our little charges have grown 

into likable adults.

We will miss having them with us.

However, we will cheer them on

as they take these new and exciting steps 

without us.

You know it was kind of nice for 

Warren and I to go to Tennessee

as a couple. 

Perhaps this won't be so bad........

P.s.   For the record, I don't think we would have kept to
our original plan to stop having children if my body hadn't
given out.  We love being parents!