I'm not a domestic diva.
It is a fact.
However, I'm a believer in doing
what I can to keep this house going in a
Keeping this house going in a positive
direction means that we have to be
healthy and relatively happy.
I feel that the last several years have stolen
much from my desire to be proactive in my
Rather I have been holding on by my
fingernails as I fought desperately for my daughter's life.
Before that I was scrapping to get our mothers
settled in our neighborhood and dealing with
the grief of many.
Myself included....but mostly others.
This might be the year that my grief gets dealt with.
A friend and I touched on it this morning
as I asked her how her grief process was coming
since the loss of her father.
She described so perfectly what I feel.
She said she pretty much felt she had put the grief
in a drawer until a time she feels better able to deal with it.
Do I ever know about that.
Mom went to Grief Share.
I felt no right to feel the intense pain.
He wasn't my husband.
He was my father.
When it came to Warren's Dad....
well, he was Georgia's husband.
We had much to do.
There was no time to feel.
We had to act.
More than not feeling the right to pain
I didn't want to feel it.
Sure, things would make me cry.
But as soon as possible I would
To fall apart meant that I might
never be put back together
and that was not acceptable.
Then, like I said, we went right into
Days, weeks, hours.....
Not up there on the list of important things to do.
We were literally dealing with life and death.
But now we find ourselves on the other side of crisis.
I actually have days when I can breathe.
I am so thankful for how things have settled out.
Chelsea is strong.
The Moms are in as good a place as they can be
without the Dads.
For a while I thought the next thing on my agenda
should be getting a full time job.
did I really think I could slow down
and let the thoughts and pain in?
However, I've been once again finding joy
in my home.
Joy in serving my family.
I've made a menu for the first two weeks of May.
We will go out and purchase the ingredients sometime
in the next 24 hours.
I've begun to attack the clutter in my home that has
gathered and I think even had babies in the corners.
Chelsea and I pulled out the Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day Book
so we could choose some recipes to start with.
My Aunt has shared her liquid laundry detergent recipe.
I prefer liquid detergent.
Those ingredients are to be purchased at the same time
as the groceries.
Life moves on.
There may be some truth to the saying that you
can tell the health and happiness of a family
by the condition of their home
if I am any indication of that.
The pit was pretty deep.
While the surface was smooth....
the current ran strong.
These days I find myself quick to tears.
I think often of my Dad.
I miss him.
We miss Warren's Dad.
But we will be o.k.
We have survived.
All of us.