Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Spending Time ...Pays Dividends

I was reminded this week how important it is to spend time one on one with our children. On the day that I wrote about in the Oops! post I found Jonathan and I kind of at different places in our relationship. He is seventeen now and needs to think about his future and jobs. However, because of the challenges he faces in several areas dealing with numbers and not handling the crush of time and schedules well, he is very concerned about his ability to be out in the work world and wants another year to just be a kid.

I kind of "get this" however, I believe that he should get a job and that there will be a lot of satisfaction in it and that it will surprise him how much he likes it and that he can do a lot more than he believes he can. There will be a place that suits him well.

I also found out from Jonathan that I have not been treating him with the respect that I should be. I tend to tell rather than ask when things need to be done.

Some of this comes from the knowledge that if I ask him to do certain things, I know that response I will get. So, I just tell him to do it. But, I heard what he was saying. He wants to be treated respectfully and being ordered around doesn't feel very good. I wouldn't treat my friends at Co-op like that. So then why do I do this to my child? Familiarity...bad habits. I was wrong.

By the end of our time together we were having a great time and were very much enjoying each others company. He is so fun. I love to make him laugh!

I tell on myself in this post because I hope that other parents of teens will take the time...invest the time...with your young adults.

Listen...to what they are saying.

Try not to take offense....

Nurture that relationship.

These are our final years with these young people in our homes before they move on to homes and families of their own.
This is where they learn how to be awesome parents to your grandchildren.

Time!

It is a very precious commodity.

Spend it in "one-on-ones" often.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Hi!

Glad you are here.

Please give me a minute while I
take my head out of the sand!

Man, how long have I been stuck in there?

As I have visited blogs,
I have thought some...who shall
remain nameless...
were a bit "over the top"
in their desires to tell
others
how to serve and honor
their husbands.

I thought it was
a given that when I got married
my husband deserved my respect and
a reasonable effort at pleasing him.

I have areas where I struggle here...
I may share them someday, but that is
not the point of this post.

Over the last couple of days I have been
amazed at the number of acquaintances I
have spoken with who really are not
honoring their husbands or giving them the
respect that they deserve.
I don't believe the people who inspired this
"little rant"
read my blog so I am not targeting
anyone directly, I promise!!!

I cannot believe that I am typing this post!

Truly.

My heart is just aching for the relationships that
"could be".

Simple things:

A welcoming attitude - Be glad to see him!

Knowing those little things that are
important to him and doing them
consistently.

Praying for him.

Taking time out with him, alone.

Sharing your heart with him.

Letting him know you love him.

Teaching your children to honor him.

Recognizing his work as a provider.

Listening to him intentionally.



These simple steps can go so far to improve your
life and your marriage. I am probably speaking
to the choir. Most of the people who read my
blog have been saying these same things on theirs
for a while now...I have seen it modeled my whole life by
my Mom, who is a great role model and one of my
dearest friends.
I know not everyone is so blessed as to have the
example from your upbringing.

If you are not making a purposeful effort to
honor and respect your husband, I challenge you
to start today. The rewards are great!

It is so easy to fall into a pattern of
just living together and passing through
the challenges of parenting, making a living,
dealing with losses, being involved in a
church, ministry...life!

Your relationship just kind of gets
ignored.
Guilty ~ On some counts.
However, I have never knowingly lost the
honor and respect for my husband that I
am hearing about
and observing over the
last week.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

It is not that hard!

With trepidation and a humbled heart I am
going to push the publish post button now.

Have a great day!