We had our children when we were very young.
It seemed like such a great idea.
So fun.
To have our own little baby to dress,
play with and care for.
We were so unaware of the bonds that
would be made and the overwhelming love
that would take over our hearts.
The intensity of it must be experienced
to be understood.
Now, please understand that I would not
change a thing
I love my kiddos to pieces.
That is precisely the dilemma.
Children are a bit like kittens.
They grow up.
They begin to stretch and yearn for
independence.
Your mind tells you that this is a very
good thing...
it is natural and healthy.
But your heart says....hey! Wait!
I am not quite ready for you to be
thinking on your own.
Wasn't it just yesterday
that you were completely
dependent on me for life?
The past couple of years around here
have been so interesting.
Watching these one time babies
becoming young adults.
Letting go a bit here and there
to allow them to make decisions.
Usually good....
sometimes not the ones we would
make given our years of experience.
But how else will they learn?
Really learn.
I remember these years as I grew
into an adult. I think my parents did
it well. I remember thinking how much
they trusted me and I always tried to do
the things that would make them proud.
The thought of hurting them kept me from
a world of trouble.
Our precious daughter is doing
well in her place of employment.
She loves her co-workers and
when her shift is completed
she returns to us...
happy and content.
It is a very good thing for her.
However, it is another place of
letting go for me.
When she has an issue at work
I have stayed out of it...
although that doesn't mean I haven't
offered....and given tons of advice!
(You know me!)
What Mom doesn't want to come and
make it all right when there is some sort
of learning experience that hurts.
But the maturity shows when she says
she can work it out.
And she does.
So soon we will do what parents
do all over the world...
say "see you later" to one as he begins the
next stage of his life.
To say I am proud of who Michael has
become would be a huge understatement.
He is kind, caring,
a show-off...but we forgive him for that....
He is a young man with a goal
and a dream.
Isn't that what we all want for
our children?
Our eldest still waits to find his niche.
But when he does he will be
tenacious!
He will be dedicated and loyal.
That is our Jonathan.
Until then he is the ever faithful
dog walker for his Grandma and
occasional writer.
He is currently waiting for me to catch
up to him in the editing of his book.
I've been just a tad busy lately.
He's noticed.
God has amazing plans for Jonathan.
This, I know for sure!
Michael is on his way.
To a new adventure.
This year amongst the "toys" he will
receive things like
his own box of
Q-tips and other necessities.
I mean when you are moving
out you need
the little things that you take for
granted at home.
No, he is not getting that much
longed for motorcycle.
We can't afford it...
and even more importantly we
don't believe it is the best choice for
him right now.
We are still his parents, after all.
And isn't that the crazy thing about
them growing up?
When the boys come to me to ask
if they can watch a certain movie
part of me wants to tell them that they
are legally adults and can make up their
own minds and the other part smiles
and reads reviews with them...
still guiding and helping them along the way.
Hey! If they are asking and still living in our home....
But, I know that soon enough they will all
be out there making their own choices...
on everything.
This Momma hopes that the foundations
are strong enough
to allow them to stand on their own.
They will make mistakes.
We all do.
But, the hope remains that it will
always come back to
faith that is their own....
not values borrowed
from us.
I think back to those days when they
were in diapers.
Those days I thought would never end.
Babies crying as they teethed.
A husband who was able to leave
each day to this place he called "work"...
I "knew" better.
He was gaining his freedom for
hours each day as I worked
in the trenches of trying to keep
the kids alive and happy.
After all they were into everything and
kept me so busy.
Older moms told me that these were
the easy years....
I didn't believe them.
They were right on so many fronts....
but it was not for the reasons I thought.
It was because the caring and love gets
stronger. The concerns become bigger.
Again, I say, I wouldn't change it.
Nope!
I love being a Mom.
I love it so much!!
It is just such a dichotomy of feelings sometimes.
Many of you have been at this point
and beyond.
Some of you have yet to experience this.
But, you most likely will.
And when you do ....
remember that this is what
you were
called to.
If you are a parent it is about
the raising and the letting go.
The nurturing and the guiding.
What a rewarding,
challenging and very
special experience.
It is good.
