Wednesday, April 9, 2008

God loves a Happy Marriage

I have at least three friends who
are in very serious struggles in
their marriages at this moment.

I do not believe that the love is
gone in any of the cases...
I believe that it is a matter of
focus and priority.

We, as Moms, focus so much on raising
our children.
Honestly, in the young years,
what else can we do?
We are swamped!

I can recall a day when the boys
were toddlers that I stood and
cried as Warren walked out the
door to work wishing so much that
it was me.

I loved my boys but I was so tired!

They were busy little guys and I needed
adult conversation and a challenge.

Looking back, I can recognize that this
period of time was so short...it just did not
feel that way, at the time.

But, we Moms, pour so much energy into our
children that what is left for our husbands
when they come home?

Do we feel like taking a walk...just the
two of us?

Do we have the extra bucks to hire a sitter
and go out to dinner?

Can we even stop to think about saying an
appreciative word to each other?

It is hard... but it is crucial!

Marriage takes work.

The work pays off in really big dividends.

A well placed word of encouragement and
confidence goes so far in making a wife
be that person her husband turns to with
both his struggles and his joys.

This is more important than anything else
required of us, ladies.

Our marriage should be our first priority.

Yes, I said, first!
Right after our time with God!

You are saying, "How?
Shouldn't the kids
be number one?"

Nope!

You are saying,
"But I have nothing left...
I am tired!"

It doesn't take a lot.

Just a special look.
A mini back rub.
An unexpected "I love you" or
"Thanks for all you do for us."

Praying for your husband.
That his day would
be profitable and that he would be well.

Carving out a time that is his and yours.

Mrs. Rabe and her husband, Tim, will sit out
on their deck together. They have six children!
They let the children know that this is their time and
they enjoy the fellowship of each others company.
I know this because she has blogged about it at
Creekside Cottage.
A wise woman, indeed!

What a great word for this time...fellowship!

We ladies love to fellowship!
We fellowship with other ladies
and other families...
but do we fellowship with
our husbands?

My Mom has one word of advice for newly marrieds
or those who have been married for 50 years...
"Pray together!"
It has the power to break down walls, to soften
hearts. It is hard to begin if you are not in the
habit...but well worth the effort.

Don't know how to begin these changes, if
this is all new and you are in a pattern that
would make this hard?
How about writing a note to your guy.
Tell him that you love him and you want to
spend some time with him.
Tell him how much he means to you and that
you have missed really being with him.

You don't have to freak him out and make him
think that you need hours...let him know that
you want to know how you can better support him
in his day and that a few minutes each day together
would help you to know how to pray for him.

He might think it strange... but he will love that
you care enough to do this!!!

Don't expect him to express this, necessarily.
Guys are sometimes hard to read.
They protect their emotions until they are sure
that we can be trusted 100 percent!
If there is a gap in that fellowship this can
take a bit of time.

He might think you want a new sink...
or a maid! Ha!

You'll just have to be consistent and love
him unconditionally until he "gets" that you
love him and appreciate him.

By the way, if you are not "feeling" the love...
pray for him. No, not that God would change HIM!
I can hear you now..."Oh, Lord, make my husband more
loveable today!" lol
That's not it!
Pray, "Lord, how can I be a better listener
for my husband? Please be with him today in all he does.
Thank you for blessing me with ______ ."
It is very hard not to love
someone that you are sincerely praying for.

I hope that even if your marriage is completely
happy that something here will give you the
inspiration to just fellowship a little more with
your spouse today and in the days to come.

Invest a few minutes each day in your marriage.
Make it your priority.

Tell me if it makes a difference.

You don't have to leave a comment for the
world. You can email me.
The address is on the side bar.

Join me in praying for the strengthening of
my friends' marriages.
In fact, we should be
praying for all of our
marriages in these fast
paced and pressure filled days.

3 comments:

Mrs. Rabe said...

Great post Becky.

You were right on when you mentioned that our husbands will not share with us until they are sure they can trust us 100%!

Remember the Proverbs 31 woman, "the heart of her husband d safely trusts her."

I feel a blog post coming on.....

Wonderful encouragement!

Miss Paula said...

Great post.

This is why we are leading the Love and Respect conference. Men NEED repsect.

Prayer!!! I heard at a conference that marriages are saved when you start praying together!! This is a very important start!!!

Alicia said...

I will say Becky that this is an awesome post! I love posts on marriage because then I can learn and grow as a wife. I will say that Ryan and I started praying together recently and wow what a difference it makes! We have an even closer connection. I didnt realize that prayer is such an intimate thing!! I wont say marriage is easy, because its not, but I LOVE being married! I hope when we have children, I will carry on what I do now, doing the things that make Ryan feel loved unconditionally by me.