Saturday, April 18, 2009

On Feeling Needed

Not so many years ago there
were things that only I could

There were many of those

Make breakfast,
wipe a runny nose,
change a diaper,
buckle someone into
a carseat.

Then it was potty training,
making hot dogs or grilled cheese
sandwiches for lunch,
teaching them to tie their shoes.

Pretty soon we were up to
teaching them to make their
own lunch,
they learned how to comb their
own hair,
their clothes matched without
my help,
and their rooms became completely
their more
Mom clean-up!

Apparently Warren and I have
taken that part about helping
our children become independent
pretty seriously because my heart
did a flutter this morning when
Mikey asked very sincerely if I
could find him a pair of socks.

This is a rare request as he has
about a million pairs of white socks
and he knows how to find them, but,
the basket of whites was still unsorted
and in our room where Warren was sleeping.
So, this was the reason for the request.

I don't know why it so blessed me to
sort through this basket looking for
perfect matches but it did.

I guess sometimes you still want to
feel needed and relevant in your kids

Did that sound like a complaint?
It was just the opposite.
We are so thrilled and blessed to
watch our kids
grow up and take on more responsibility.
It is just so nice
to be asked to do
something tangible again.

This Mommy is growing up.

If you have been at this point in life
what did you struggle with?

Was it the letting go?
Holding your breath while they
risk their life and limb?
Wanting to micromanage their every
Not feeling needed anymore?

I didn't realize how comparatively
little I actually
do for them these days
until that small request was

These days it is much more about
the emotional and thoughtful things
of life in which I usually participate.
The daily routine is fairly well established
and runs itself, for the most part. is the best gift
and the hardest challenge.

Enjoy the young people in your life
today..."tomorrow" they will be grown.

♥♥Becky K.♥♥


jAne said...

I understand this, Becky. The seasons of motherhood are a varied many and there's a thin line that crosses into each one. There's also those muddy areas where you phase from one to the next then morph into the one from a few seasons ago. That's how I see it anyhow. :o)

Lizzie's preparation for this last trip (spring break) to SD showed me that she's an adult in that she indeed didn't need me to do an overview of her clothing, reminding her employer of her vacation, to be sure to bring her books to study, when to be at the airport, etc. Nope. I wasn't needed and I have to admit that it hurt just a little bit. Well, she called from the airport after her first leg of the journey .. concerned that she couldn't find the next gate and **would I please help her**. Oh Yes! While talking with her I quickly got online and figured out the info she needed - seemed she had forgotten she was to switch airlines at that point. She thanked me over and again. I was needed. For that moment - needed. :o)


Vee said...

If things go as they should, every mother finds herself where you are now. I reminded myself often as the kids were spreading their wings that I would NOT want it to be any other way. I also tell myself that I alone and in and of myself would make for my children/grandchildren a very small world. This allows me to share them more cheerfully. It's all good! Glad that you had another opportunity to feel needed...they'll be more. Why just last weekend, my son called asking my to take care of the pug. ;>

southerninspiration said...

Yes, ma'am, it is bittersweet to see them grow up and be successfully independent, isn't it???