Yahoo News has this as their top story
Kids Curb Marital Satisfaction
Hmmm...I had to click on it.
I was perturbed.
Then I read the article.
There are a couple of points
of interest. One, which still ticks me
off is that there is the assumption that
children aren't great for a marriage.
However, it does state some interesting
facts. The first being that those couples
who live together first, then get married and
have children find a much greater deterioration
of the marital relationship or the happiness...
There is also an assumption that marital quality
diminishes over time for 90 percent of married
couples. I wonder...what is the quality they are
looking at. Feeling giddy? Having a crush?
Relationships definitely go through changes, there
are even times when we are more distant...but with
work and intention we can build a stronger bond than
we could ever have imagined while having those
giddy, first love feelings.
The overall result of this article wasn't as bad
as the headline would suggest,
but I was a bit steamed at the apparent insinuation
in the headline itself.
Long story short...according to me...Having children
changes a marriage. It does not have to be a negative
change. It can and should be a very beautiful thing
as two adults work together to train the next generation.
Making time for each other is vital.
Working as a team and giving more than
you get works out really well...especially
if both are trying to give more....
Hearing your spouse.
Knowing their moods.
It is a closeness that is impossible
when you have a brand new, shiny and
giddy relationship. That is fun.
It is not a forever feeling.
Truth is, the later, comfortable,
sometimes perceived as boring stage
can be even better! When you think
about the fact that you can catch
that person's eye across the room and
communicate without words. When you can
know that he will be there for you
no matter what. When after
twenty years just an unexpected glimpse
of him can make your heart stop for a
And this is after three very normal, busy,
demanding and ever present,
Kids don't have to take away from
You'll just have to do the
work and set mutual goals.
Children are a gift!!!!
They are a blessing and
you don't even know how many
times in the midst of raising them
I have reminded myself of the
fact out loud!
Ask them, they have heard it a
million times...usually through
gritted teeth. ((smile))
But, they are.
And I am glad that we "risked"
our happiness to have them!