Monday, June 21, 2010

Trying to Get Back to Some Kind of Normal....

After a week full of life and death
matters it is so hard to return to the
regular and mundane things that so often
capture my entire attention.

Grandma's funeral on Saturday was HOT!
Yes, temperatures were in the 90's and
we were in a tiny old church with only
two ceiling fans and open windows for

So many memories smacked us
in the face as we walked into that old
building. The smells, the old pews that
everyone remembers sticking to, and the
little pillows in certain seats took me back
to the little ladies who used to 
seek comfort on those wooden pews.
They have since gone on to Heaven.
The current older generation has carried 
on the tradition.
It was a sweet service with many lovely
memories and distant relatives to
reconnect with.

I don't think that
I am alone in not getting excited about
a funeral... one of those necessary things
that is supposed to give us closure.

But then, I am the lady that has given away
my animals before they die because I don't
want closure. I want to just imagine them
living on happily forever....
But that is just me.
Admittedly this is very different.

We are so very exhausted.
It was quite the week that led us
from Fredericksburg, Virginia 
(four hours South)
Franklin, PA. 
(Six hours North).

We returned directly to church on
Sunday Morning just in time for
Sunday School to begin.

The early morning views made it
nearly worth getting up before dawn
two days in a row....

Frankly, I had the hardest time
keeping my eyes open and did actually
have that old "bob of the head" that wakes
you up a couple of times.
New Grandma, Mrs. Rabe came to check on me immediately
following the service. 
One of the bad
parts of sitting right in the front.
You can't get away with falling asleep.
Friends notice!

During our church service yesterday
we were singing that old hymn,
A Child of the King, and it seemed to
me after the events of this past week
that our congregation should have been
a lot more excited about this. They were
"just singing" it. I did something I nearly
never do...sang and played at the same time.

In a week full of eternity smack in my face
I am so grateful to be 
"A child of The King!".

My cousin, Jenn, is now in the hospital.
She got sick at the dinner following the 
funeral and had to be taken to the emergency room.
Please pray.
She is a wife and mother of two 
wonderful young children.
It appears to be more than just 
low sugar and stress.
As she is still having difficulty with her
right side and speech they are
looking hard for the cause.
This was totally unexpected.
I have to say that her kids were so amazingly
well behaved while their Mom was being
attended to.

It will likely be a while before I 
can really get back into the swing
of Blogging as I like to do.
So...please bear with me.

I have to tell you that as I sat
in that church with all of the memories
and thoughts of loss...
of Grandma and of  Dad...
I remembered your words of caring and 
offers of prayer.

I felt your love.

Thank You!!!!!


Kathy said...

Hello Becky,
I know how you feel. Heaven holds so many of my loved ones now - my parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle and now my brother - who was killed in January. I seem to be thinking of them all so much more - longingly - but, knowing the promises of God keeps me going. He does get sweeter as the days go by.
Will surely pray for your cousin Jenn and for you.
God Bless you,

Mrs.Rabe said...

I didn't notice that you were falling asleep but during announcements, while you were sitting at the piano, you looked very sad...

Hope yesterday was restful...

black eyed susans kitchen said...

Becky, I often think of my grandmothers in the everyday things that I do. My Nana was a stickler for neatness, and showed me how important it was to have everything look "just so". Every time I fold the towels to put away in the linen closet I think of her. Although our loved ones are gone from sight, they are never gone from our minds...and so we still feel them. I hope that you will have these warm and wonderful feelings too. Sending you hugs and love....

Persuaded said...

I've been thinking of you dear♥

Vee said...

Just allow yourself the time that you need. Glad that you have friends who are in tune with your needs.

Oh I will pray for your cousin and her family. What an awfully unexpected thing to happen.

Gosh, were we separated at birth? I was just telling the Social Worker that I am very good at death in theory, but not so good when it comes right down to it. I prefer the denial route myself.

SmilingSally said...

So sorry, Becky, to learn of your loss. Isn't Heaven wonderful?

Jenn might have suffered a stroke. I will pray for her.

Rest up.

Andrea said...

Normal...still trying to figure that one out. I hope and pray you have a beautiful day, today. Life is so difficult sometimes. I, too have been struggling lately. HE is faithful to see us through.
Blessings, hugs, and prayers,

Karen said...

I remember the Sundays after my Gramps and my dad's funerals that the hymns we sang were so much more meaningful than usual-I don't know why. Just listening to them made me cry-there was no way I was able to sing along. Maybe funerals, especially of those we love dearly, sensitize us anew to what is truly important in this life?

Take all the time you need to get back in the swing of things. We'll all be here when you feel ready to return.

Prayers offered for your cousin, too!

Joyce said...

I will pray for cousin Jen to get better soon.

Gayla said...

Sometimes a person knows when it is time to be gentle with herself. I know it is such a time for you. Relax and let yourself do something you really enjoy, or just sit and look at the pretty sunsets. The busy-ness of life will pick back up and get you again, but it's nice to sit in reverie at times and think about things from a different perspective of memory, loss, gain, and love. I loved the shots of morning along the road. I've been thinking of you!

Hugs... Gayla

Marydon said...

The dawn breaks a new day, rising to greet us with the freshness of a new babe, a song in our hearts & love surrounding us.

Would you send me your mailing address, I think I had it & mislaid it ... no doubt.

Have a beau-TEA-ful week, sweet friend.
TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Becky, that is so scary about your cousin... do you think it's a spider bite or something? You all have really been through it. Thinking of you and saying a prayer for the Lord's peace for you and your family.

I think sometimes when things get darkest is when we need to sing the loudest! The Lord truly does inhabit the praises of His people.


Sheila :-)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear that your sister took ill. I wish the best for her. Thinking of you.

Brittany Ann said...

Oh my! I don't blame you for being exhausted! What a load you are caring! I pray you get some rest and relaxation soon!

Susan said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Becky. It's so difficult to loose the ones we love. I too have lost my Grandmother and my Father. Both 10 days apart from one another. My poor Mother was devastated to loose both her husband and then her Mother. That was a bit over 12 years ago now.

I agree with you. I would much rather remember them alive and well and living on and on.

And I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin, Jenn. I do pray and hope that she will be healthy and well again very, very soon.

Hugs to you,

Kelly said...

You are still in my prayers. I still couldn't really sing on Sunday due to this awful cough. It is finally considerably better today, and I expect to be able to sing out again this Sunday.