Reality of letting go...

We had our children when we were very young.

It seemed like such a great idea.

So fun.

To have our own little baby to dress,

play with and care for.

We were so unaware of the bonds that 

would be made and the overwhelming love

that would take over our hearts.

The intensity of it must be experienced 

to be understood.

Now, please understand that I would not

change a thing

I love my kiddos to pieces.

That is precisely the dilemma.

Children are a bit like kittens.

They grow up.

They begin to stretch and yearn for

independence.

Your mind tells you that this is a very 

good thing...

it is natural and healthy.

But your heart says....hey!  Wait!

I am not quite ready for you to be 

thinking on your own.

Wasn't it just yesterday 

that you were completely 

dependent on me for life?

The past couple of years around here

have been so interesting.

Watching these one time babies

becoming young adults.

Letting go a bit here and there

to allow them to make decisions.

Usually good....

sometimes not the ones we would 

make given our years of experience.

But how else will they learn?

Really learn.

I remember these years as I grew

into an adult.  I think my parents did 

it well.  I remember thinking how much 

they trusted me and I always tried to do 

the things that would make them proud.

The thought of hurting them kept me from

a world of trouble.

Our precious daughter is doing

well in her place of employment.

She loves her co-workers and 

when her shift is completed

she returns to us...

happy and content.

It is a very good thing for her.

However, it is another place of 

letting go for me.

When she has an issue at work

I have stayed out of it...

although that doesn't mean I haven't 

offered....and given tons of advice!

(You know me!) 

What Mom doesn't want to come and 

make it all right when there is some sort 

of learning experience that hurts.

But the maturity shows when she says

she can work it out.

And she does.

So soon we will do what parents 

do all over the world...

say "see you later" to one as he begins the 

next stage of his life.

To say I am proud of who Michael has

become would be a huge understatement.

He is kind, caring, 

a show-off...but we forgive him for that....

He is a young man with a goal

and a dream.

Isn't that what we all want for 

our children?

Our eldest still waits to find his niche.

But when he does he will be 

tenacious!

He will be dedicated and loyal.

That is our Jonathan.

Until then he is the ever faithful 

dog walker for his Grandma and 

occasional writer.

He is currently waiting for me to catch 

up to him in the editing of his book.

I've been just a tad busy lately.

He's noticed.

God has amazing plans for Jonathan.

This, I know for sure!

Michael is on his way.

To a new adventure.

This year amongst the "toys" he will 

receive things like 

his own box of
Q-tips and other necessities.

I mean when you are moving

out you need 

the little things that you take for 

granted at home.

No, he is not getting that much

longed for motorcycle.

We can't afford it...

and even more importantly we 

don't believe it is the best choice for 

him right now. 

We are still his parents, after all.

And isn't that the crazy thing about 

them growing up?

When the boys come to me to ask 

if they can watch a certain movie

part of me wants to tell them that they 

are legally adults and can make up their 

own minds and the other part smiles

and reads reviews with them...

still guiding and helping them along the way.

Hey!  If they are asking and still living in our home....

But, I know that soon enough they will all 

be out there making their own choices...

on everything.

This Momma hopes that the foundations

are strong enough

to allow them to stand on their own.

They will make mistakes.

We all do.

But, the hope remains that it will

always come back to 

faith that is their own....

not values borrowed

from us.

I think back to those days when they

were in diapers.

Those days I thought would never end.

Babies crying as they teethed.

A husband who was able to leave 

each day to this place he called "work"...

I "knew" better.  

He was gaining his freedom for 

hours each day as I worked 

in the trenches of trying to keep 

the kids alive and happy.

After all they were into everything and 

kept me so busy.

Older moms told me that these were

the easy years....

I didn't believe them.

They were right on so many fronts....

but it was not for the reasons I thought.

It was because the caring and love gets 

stronger.  The concerns become bigger.

Again, I say, I wouldn't change it.

Nope!

I love being a Mom.

I love it so much!!

It is just such a dichotomy of feelings sometimes.

Many of you have been at this point 

and beyond.

Some of you have yet to experience this.

But, you most likely will.

And when you do ....

remember that this is what 

you were

called to.

If you are a parent it is about

the raising and the letting go.

The nurturing and the guiding.

What a rewarding,

challenging and very 

special experience.

It is good.