It is hitting me now...tomorrow is our concert. The kids in the two choirs I direct are the sweetest kids on this planet. Yes, they are!
The nerves are beginning to set in, for me! You see, I am not a professional musician. I have sung forever! It was as natural as breathing for my Dad and myself. We harmonized together at the dinner table, or in the car or just at home for no good reason. Then as a teen and young adult I sang in a group that traveled to Churches to perform concerts. This was a very good experience, but did not teach me to "direct" a choir. It did introduce me to my husband, however. He was our "Sound Man". He made me sound good, so I snagged him to have with me always. Tee-hee.
For the first couple of years we attended our Co-op I was the helper in the choirs with Cindy, a certified music instructor. She taught those kids with a firm hand and they learned the songs to a technical "T". Then she got up on concert night and directed with flair. Turning to bow to the audience at just the right times and all of that. Cindy moved to Nebraska. I am not Cindy!
I am the one that wants the music to be fun! To instill a love of it. I hope that the end results are nearly as good. I have tried to remember what was technically important to Cindy and have hopefully gotten that across. But, here is my dilemma.
I am a pacer!
Because the 4-6th grade choir is so big they were quite spread out in the room we have been meeting in. I have gotten into a terrible habit of walking back and forth to listen and make eye contact, encourage, etc. I am terrified that during the concert I will revert to this pacing instead of holding my proper place. One of my friends after hearing this concern assures me that some directors are very entertaining....NO, that is not what I want. I want to be invisible! I do not want to be entertaining! So, I am seriously hoping that my brain tells my feet to stand still tomorrow evening.
There is one girl in my 7-up choir that loves to tell me..."You can't talk out loud to us during the concert" or "You better not stomp your foot like that during the concert". She is in a County choir and seems to be constantly comparing this experience to that. All I can say is she'd better get over it...that is that experience and this is another one altogether! But does she really have that little confidence in me to think that I would do those things??? Yikes!
Oh well, I have enjoyed this year immensely. After tomorrow evening it will be over and all will be well. I know the kids are ready and the parents and grandparents will absolutely love them. I will stay in my spot and be cool as a cucumber...on the outside. Only you, dear friends, will know the fear and trepidation with which I enter this concert.
Keep me in your prayers, will you?