Life...It is so Precious

The nurse was leaning over me.

Through my foggy brain I saw the concern on her face.

A gentle hand touched my forehead to check

the fever and then her head shook in frustration as 

there was no improvement.

Then I drifted off again.

In my dozing I remember the distinct point of decision.

Would I stay and fight to live 

or would I let myself drift off into eternity?

It only took a second.

But in that moment I knew that I was ready to fight.

Fight for more days with my husband and children.

Ready to continue being my mother's friend and daughter.

I knew that I needed to come back but

to do so would take more strength than I could muster.

It had been something like two weeks since the original surgery.

Just that weekend we had been out of town where I began 

a decline.  There was pain and I was so tired.

I remember laying in the recliner that had been my Dad's and 

just feeling so sick.

By the time we returned home I knew I needed to get to 

the surgeon.  I thought I would be able to drive myself but as soon

as my neighbor heard how I was feeling she insisted on taking me there.

Good thing, too, because the road across town has many bumps on it.

You and I may not feel them in our day to day routines

but when one is in the condition I was in it is excruciating.

By the time we arrived at the doctor's office and took the elevator

upstairs I was in tears and begged the office staff to get help for me quickly.

When the surgeon came into the room all I could do was sob, 

asking him to help me.....just help me, please.

Over and over again I desperately repeated those words.

The next thing I remember is shaking violently from head to toe

and being taken to the CT machine where just moving from the wheelchair

to the machine was like horrible torture.

A mass was discovered and a condition called ileus.

My insides had ceased working.

At all.

I was admitted to the hospital where the next ten days are not much more than 

a blur in my hazy, drugged memory.

I know that my Mom came frantically.

I know that people paced.

I remember the surgeon looking at a loss and very confused.

Then the day that really took the cake,

It was the day that they took me for an ultrasound.

I was on a tiny little bed while two young techs ran the transducer

over my hyper painful torso.

They became excited by something they saw and then 

excused themselves and ran from the room.

The pain continued to grow worse as I lay there, 

in spite of all of the pain medication that had been constantly 

injected into my hips.  

First one, then the other alternating with each dose.

Finally it was so severe that I was once again shaking

and crying.  

I yelled for help.

Screamed for someone to come....

yet, no one came.

I was helpless to move because of the mass 

which caused pain of extraordinary proportions when I 

attempted to move.

After what seemed forever someone finally rescued me.

I don't think it was the same young girls who so rudely left

me alone.....The reason I think this is because I believe

I would have let loose on them.

I was really angry.

The news came back that the mass had grown to 

the size of a grapefruit ....or more.

This was what had so excited the techs who rushed

off to find the Radiologist.

Additional surgery would be required.

I don't remember whether the surgery was done that day 

or early the next....

all I know is that at that point a second doctor became a 

visible part of my treatment.

He was talking to my family.

My next clear memory is of the poor woman who would 

come and take my food order every day.

She offered me the same thing every time.

Jel-lo.

I now despise red Jel-lo.

Other flavors are fine.

I didn't like her very much.

But it wasn't her fault.
She was just following orders.

Gradually the surgery and the three

antibiotics being pumped into my system began doing the 

job of clearing the toxins that were poisoning me.

My thoughts began to clear and then they made me 

begin to walk.  

To build my strength, they said.

I hated that too.

Yep!  There is a theme here.

Not much made me happy during those days in the hospital.

I've left a lot out.

Some by choice and some from lack of memory of the events.

My husband and mother could tell you much more.

But after ten days I convinced the surgeon that I should 

continue my healing at home.

He bought it.

I was most likely wrong.

I still had no strength.

Simply sitting up in bed made me bone weary

and out of breath.

Nevertheless, I came home.

To the loving arms of my children and the care 

of my supportive friends and family.

Our church family and home school friends had been

bringing meals for more than a week.

They continued for some time after.

Again this is all pretty much a blur.

What I remember from that time is that my IV's wouldn't 

stay open and the antibiotics that I was supposed to inject

wouldn't go through.  

I had to call in home nurses nearly every dose until there were 

no more veins.

Every one had collapsed.

I cried and cried.

A decision was made to finish my last two days on oral medication.

Thankfully it was enough.

I slowly regained my strength and my life.

My wonderful life.

With so much to live for.

I am grateful that God granted me the will to live

on that fateful night.

I delight in all that God has blessed me with.

A husband who loves and cares for me.

Children who share their hearts and their love with us.

A Mother and Mother-in-law who are a part of our everyday life.

A brother and sister-in-law who are our friends.

A church family who truly cares.

So many more family members and friends who are always there.

Supporting, caring and loving.

I'm so glad I got to see my kids grow up.

Of course Heaven will be wonderful when it is time.

I now have an appreciation for how easy it will be when the time 

comes to just let go.

To rest in His arms as He carries me there.

But, for now, until that day comes

I will treasure this life,

serve my Heavenly Father as well as I can...

And be thankful.

Over the years that I have been blogging, 

Some of you have made comments as if to wonder at 

my thankful spirit and rosy take on life.

It is because of what HE has brought me through.

I know that I have faced death.

I have felt pain that I never knew existed.

Forevermore when they ask for a measure of pain

from 1-10 I have a new measure of what that means.

Internally many scars remain and cause pain nearly daily.

They remind me of those dark and frightening days 

in March 2006.

But I also have joy.

Joy in the knowing that life, this life 

is so very precious and so very fragile.

It is to be treasured.

Truly treasured.

All of this came to my mind tonight 

as I saw a preview for something on television where the 

woman said she remembered distinctly coming to a point 

where she had to decide to fight or live.

I knew precisely what she was speaking of.

I thought it was time to tell you.

And to rejoice!

Life is good.

Don't miss my ongoing Give Away.......
I'll pick a winner on Saturday, May 5th!

Time For a Give Away

There is no occasion....

It is just time to gather friends and family together

 in one spot here on the blog 

and give a sweet candle away.  

The winner will receive a 

12 ounce Warm Apple Pie Jelly Jar candle.  

The lid is Bronze Daisy cut, 

which allows you to burn it with the lid on, 

if you like. 

 This keeps little fingers away from the flame....

although the lid does get hot so they shouldn't touch it either.

You will receive one entry for a comment left.

You may comment once per day until next Saturday

when the give away ends.

You will receive two additional entries if you grab either of my 

links from the side bar and put them on your blog.

Leave a comment telling me if you do so.....

or if you already have one of them

on your blog.

You will receive three additional entries if you pin any of 

my candles in Pinterest.

Leave a comment telling me which candle you pinned.

Saturday, May 5th will be the end of this give away and 

I will use a random number generator to choose 

a winner.

Maybe it will be you!!

Swan Photos ...Raw and Edited

 One of my regular readers turned really great friend has

been telling me for a long time that she wants 

Note cards with a swan on them.

Finally, I was in the right place, 

at the right time....

with my camera and time to wait for Warren

to meet me.

Look down...see the ducklings and their Mama?

So cute!

These are the totally rough, 

unedited versions of the photos I took.

Next on the agenda is an editing session to make then 

cardworthy.

We'll see how that goes.

My question to you is which one(s) should 

I work with?

A multi card pack or is there just one that stands out to you?

I know this one is blurry but I threw it in any way.

Warren and I were having a debate about geese and swans.

I said it was a swan, he wasn't convinced....based on the tiny 

photo on the camera screen.

We showed it to our server at Pizza Hut who confirmed that 

this was, indeed, a swan as she made the motions for the long

graceful neck.

LOL

That was funny.

Thanks for the challenge, Vee.

I adore you, you know!

And now for some of these after editing....

Dogwood 2012

 Every year I attempt to find a new way to present this beautiful tree. 

I mean dogwood blossoms are pretty much the same year to year.

This morning I stepped out on the front stoop to call the dogs inside.

I looked to my left and there she stood.

Her pinks all gorgeous in the sunlight and against the light green of the new 

leaves of the tree behind her.

I think the shape of the branches is pretty.

You've seen them before in my note card of Oliver.

But never from this angle.

I'm very thankful for this lovely tree.

It is so close to our house that at some point it may need to be replaced...

but not yet.

We Had A Ball

 At some point I have to stop saying we had an unusual day at church.

I think they are all unusual at this point.

We have way too much fun together.

But yesterday was definitely up there on the different scale.

The men got together and organized an event in which we remembered the Titanic.

Not because of the fact it sunk....but for the heroism and chivalry of the men

aboard the ship on that fateful day.

While the men organized it, 

the ladies had plenty to do.

But before I get to that you should meet the cast.

Meet the Captain....played by Joe.

Everyone had to get their photos taken with him.

Pastor Mike rented the costumes from the drama department at 

Millersville University.

They were perfect.

 The purser - Daniel.

So handsome!

I just had to throw this photo in.

Katie and her Mama.

Remember those photos of the early days after 

Katerina joined this family?

Amazing progress and joy now surrounds this child.

A series of speakers and video clips set the tone.

Understanding that many of the youngsters there would not be familiar with 

the history celebrated it was very good to take the time to tell the story.

The entire church was transformed......

how convenient that we have a ramp.

This was where we "boarded".

 Our ticket to the Voyage.

Heads of households filled in the names on each boarding pass.

Then we assembled in a line to board the Titanic. 

This was surprisingly emotional.

Pastor Mike took our boarding passes and welcomed us 

aboard in such a realistic way that you found yourself in the 

place of those who had been so oblivious to their impending doom.

Having the knowledge of the end result I was moved to 

tears even while just waiting in line.

I swallowed hard and waited my turn.

The purpose of this event was to encourage our young men,

and the old ones too,

to remember that chivalry is not dead.

On its last gasp, maybe, as so many are only out for themselves,

but not dead.

We all kind of chuckled at one point in the video as the captain

instructed his crew to "chuck" the ladies and children into the lifeboats

if they resisted.

There was just no question that it was ladies and children first.

There were not enough life boats for everyone because for the sake of 

looks they had only put about half of the life boats on the Titanic.

Remember, the ship was "unsinkable".

 After a short lesson in etiquette which reminded the men that if a lady at their

table left for any reason they needed to stand in respect for her.

Also a quick tip as to how to know which bread dish and cup was yours.

I had to chuckle as I looked down the line and saw everyone holding this pose.

 Garden salad, fruit salad and bread were the first course.

Followed by chicken poppyseed casserole, green beans and cake with ice cream for dessert.

Several young people served everything as a few of us plated it quickly in the kitchen.

After lunch came an English Country Dance in the sanctuary.....

ahem...ballroom.

I love seeing the moms and sons, 

fathers and daughters, 

wives and husbands, 

brothers and sisters,

friends and family of all sizes 

enjoying this fun and very energetic activity.

Such laughter and craziness.

I only danced one particular dance but I really enjoyed it!

Our dance was rudely interrupted by the sound of ice scraping metal.

Chaos and tears broke out as the men settled their wives and children in lifeboats 

and then left the room.

No, really, tears broke out.

Some of us were pretending to cry and scared some of the youngest ones.

We had to reassure them that we weren't really crying.

If you could have seen the sheer joy on one young boy's face as his 

dad came back into the room.......wow.

But the dads took the opportunity to remind all in attendance that we got to be 

reunited.  In real life that was not the case.

Later the dancing resumed......

Don't you just love this trio?

 Our afternoon came to a close...

in the early evening.

LOL

We concluded with the rest of the story in 

presentation and video

and then we all sang

Nearer My God to Thee as two young men 

played their Violin and Cello for accompaniment.

So touching as this was the last song the 

musicians played around 2:00 am before they lost their 

lives in that very dark and cold ocean.

Having found out that the RMS Titanic was indeed 

NOT unsinkable.

The roses from the tables all ended up 

being sent home with various ones of us.

I have three...

they are gorgeous!!

A wonderful reminder of a meaningful event.

 I love this photo of a very happy Pastor Mike at the end of 

the day.  He is such a great leader.

Quiet strength.

Kind.

Effective.

Yep!  I like him a lot.

It is so neat to see him come behind the vision of those in the congregation

and support, love and encourage.

Every church should wish for such a pastor.

Just sayin'.

He doesn't normally read my blog so I feel pretty safe

posting this....lol.

Hey!  Have a great day!!

I'm making candles (surprise) and then spending some fun 

time with my sweet girl.

To read and see more about this amazing event you can
visit my friend, Deanna.....at Creekside Cottage.
 

Last Sunday afternoon found me in my 

Happy Place!

Mom blessed Warren and I with tickets to see 

The Gaither Vocal Band

in concert.

 

 We always get a chuckle out of the fact that we are 

the youngest fans when we go to any of these

events.  But other than the fact that I worry about their fan 

base over the next 10 years I don't mind being younger 

than everyone around me.

This was my first time to see this group in person.

Of course, we've watched the Gaither Homecoming Videos

many times and we saw Mark Lowry a couple of years

ago when he visited Lancaster.

 

Bill Gaither must be pretty persuasive to gather this 

kind of talent into a group.

Every one of these men could be out on their own.

They have the talent and following to be solo artists.

It is totally special that they work together and offer

up such praise blended with humor.

I mean that you actually have to laugh out loud

or you will hurt yourself.

 

Mark Lowry gave an outstanding message.

I won't try to tell you what he said because 

I would butcher

it for sure.

 

David Phelps....

ahhhhhh.......................that voice.

 

So.much.power!

 

Thanks, Mom!

We enjoyed it soooo much!!

It has been a very busy week.

This weekend won't be any better for all of that 

but it will be good. 

Kicked off a fundraiser for a church group

headed to Haiti to do mission work yesterday with a new 

group and have a couple coming today to discuss 

a fundraiser for their upcoming mission trip

to Africa.

Yesterday I spent a good part of the day with five 

very wonderful children.

Their Mom is going through a very hard time

right now as her Dad has terminal cancer.

 

The kids and I laughed and laughed as I just 

about stepped on a snake.

The oldest boy said in a very serious voice, 

"I just had to chuckle."

I think he thought I might be upset if he laughed 

at me...but instead we just laughed together.

I'm sure it did look and sound funny to see me 

jump and scream.

It was just a garter snake and very easily 

identifiable so I was never afraid, 

just startled.

I enjoyed seeing their new fluffy yellow chicks.

You know how we used to enjoy getting ours

each Spring.  But now we just let our chickens 

reproduce naturally since we don't need lots and lots

of chickens.

The kids were too smart to fall for my suggestion that 

picking all of the dandelions in the field would be a great

activity and challenge.

Hmmph.

I was sure that they would want to do that one!

LOL

Anyway....

It's been a while since I've spent 

quality time with the younger set 

and it was good!

We ended the day by prepping English Muffin

Pizzas to be ready for dinner when their Dad got home.

Molly was a big help.

She put the sauce on the muffins and then added 

pepperoni, green peppers, cheese and cooked onions.

Yummy.

Well, in theory they were yummy.

I bugged out of there to get home and cook 

quesadillas for my own gang.

Hope you are well.

Hugs.