Protect Your Head

I am saddened by the news about
Natasha Richardson. I know how
much her family must be in disbelief
and shock. We have been there.

Wow!
This brings so much back!

Warren's Dad had a spinal chord
tumor, had endured two surgeries,
and radiation. He was on the road
to some sort of recovery.

Out of the blue he fell head first
into a piece of furniture. From that
point and time the Gene we knew was
not there.

We were so blessed that the new Gene
was still sweet and gentle. Sometimes head
injuries cause behaviors and aggressiveness
that are not typical of the person.

We have no idea why he passed out...or fell.
It could have been related to his medicines
or the fact that he had some paralysis on hie
right side.

He got help very quickly but there was nothing
that could be done for the massive brain bleed
in the frontal lobe.

As a family we tried all we could do.

We got Gene into a nursing facility very near
our home and Georgia moved in with my mother.

For months we could only watch Gene decline.

It consumed our lives.
We would bring him his favorite
treat, milk shakes, until he could
no longer swallow without choking.

We spent countless hours with
him. We read, we sang,
we just loved him.

Finally we were able to get Hospice involved.
They were wonderful!
From support for us as family to the volunteer
who came by and sang to Gene...they were all
just fantastic.

Finally, on April 1, 2007, Gene took his final
breath with many of us around his bed.

The kids did not want to be there.
We didn't make them.
In fact, they did not often go to
the nursing home. It was too hard.
Right or wrong we were fine with the
few visits they made and the fact that
they had much happier pictures in their
heads of their Grandpa.

Gene's passing was a sad relief.

We knew he had no chance of recovery in this
life...however he was experiencing total healing
in the moment of his departure.

Our hearts break in our missing him here.
The children were so close to him.
They long to just spend an afternoon with
their Grandpa building something, or just
chatting. He was a great companion.

Before the brain injury,
even with his paralysis he could cut corn off
the cob faster than any of the rest of us.
Years of experience and consistency allowed
him to do this.
So, when we do corn...we talk
about Gene.

You never know when a news story is going to send
you into moments of memories that are so bittersweet.

My deepest sympathies go out to the family and boys
of Mrs. Richardson.

For those of you who have the option of wearing a helmet
when riding, skiing or other activity...please wear it.
It is not ridiculous or over the top.
It is being thoughtful and considerate.

Unless you have been in this type of a
situation you cannot comprehend how one
second of time can change everything!
Forever!

You cannot reverse the effects of brain damage.
You are not the only one who is effected in the case of
this kind of injury. The ripples go out like waves on
a pond to all who love you.

Please, protect your head.

'Cause you are loved!

♥♥Becky K.♥♥

April 1st...A Day to Celebrate our Grief

Weird Title?

I know!!

Last year this time we were gathered around my dear Father-in-law's bed in a skilled care facility. He was taking breaths that we knew had to be stopping soon.

Two years before this sweet man had been diagnosed with a spinal chord tumor. He had been through two operations and radiation...then he fell and really scrambled his brain.

Because the family home was in York and an hour away from us, and because we had a wonderful Skilled Care Facility close to our home we prayed and worked to get Gene admitted here.

Here is a new twist on a verse for you: "Faith without works is dead". I so believed that this was the Lord's will that I acted on it before it was even believed that it could possibly happen. I could have all of the faith in the world that Gene would be accepted in that facility but unless I went in there and filled out paperwork, then pleaded, befriended and cajoled them to reverse a decision that would have not allowed him to be accepted there nothing would have happened. I believed that this was where he was to be but it took work on my part to see it to fruition. I did work!
Mini rabbit trail there...

Anyway, Georgia moved in with my mother and we were in for a long, hard haul.

Gene was the sweetest person with a brain injury I have ever seen. There was no anger. There was only sweet patience. I love the time that I got to spend with him in his final days.

I may be the only person in our family to feel this way. It was so hard for everyone else. My Mom had so recently lost my Dad that this tore her up, Georgia was dealing with her own pain, Warren suffered seeing his Dad like this, the kids just couldn't understand how they could relate to this man, Grandpa.

But I just adored him. Even more than before, if that is possible. This had to be a gift from the Lord! HE truly does give more grace as the burdens increase!

We laugh, because since we have been married I have expressed to Warren that when we were dating I took a long look at his Dad and decided that if Warren turned out to be half the man his Dad was I would be very blessed indeed. Gene was extraordinary in his kindness, generosity, patience and he was solid as a rock!

So, as we stood around his bed...after a night of taking shifts...one sleeping in a room at the end of the hall while two visited quietly in the room there was a sense of finality. We read from the book of Revelation as it so wonderfully describes the beauty of Heaven...we sang...Gene took his final breath and as quietly as he has done everything else in his life...went home to see Jesus, His Savior and Friend.

The sadness got a bit back burnered as we were so relieved for him. His suffering was done! Forever! Praise the Lord, Gene and my Daddy and others that have gone on before will never feel the pain of suffering or the sting of grief again...EVER!

That brings us to today. Ohhh...the sting of grief is so real. You most likely know what I am writing about. The conflict of happiness for their peace but the heart wrenching pain of missing the people that they were. Missing the ability to ask an opinion or to see them smile. The ability to get frustrated with them over the tiniest little things. Just to be in their presence one more time...

Today, Warren is taking the afternoon off and will be spending it with his Mom.
I am so glad. Please keep them in prayer. Warren is an only child and this year has been so hard on him.

Thanks for bearing with this very personal post.

Thanks for being there!

Healing Tears...

Our family is finding our
healing tears as we are...

Dealing with the loss of
another loved one.
The first being my Dad in
November of 2005.

We are approaching the one year anniversary
of the passing of Warren's Dad
on April 1st.

It is on our minds, although
until this morning there had
not been a whole lot said about it.

Cut to this morning,
I am in the Office reading blogs
having just finished writing today's
post about a tragedy in our own
community.

My 6'4" eldest son came into the
room and sat on a chair beside me.

This is not uncommon. He will often
just kind of check in and hang out with
me for a few minutes but the look on his
face made me ask if he was ok.

He was not.

The tears flowed freely as he told me
about a dream that he had just awakened
from.

He had been in York at his Grandparents
home. He was playing parcheesi and
swimming in the pool with Grandpa...
then Jonathan woke up.

The reality struck!

Grandpa is gone.

There will be no more times on this earth
where they will swim and play parcheesi.

This is so hard!

I held my son even though he is
quite a bit bigger than I and
we sobbed together.

Pain!

Intensity of the sorrow!

Even though we know Gene wouldn't come
back here for anything...now that he is
experiencing the perfection of heaven...

We still feel the pain of our loss.

I found it especially interesting after I had
just finished writing about wishing to be there
for young people around me...

I got to minister to one of the ones God gave
me...first.

I think that is how it is meant to be.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be at
home with my children...

Even the great big teenage, almost 17 year old, boys!

Believe it or Not!

I debated all day whether or not to share this. I want to share it because to me it represents the love of God in the very details of our lives. If you have read this blog very long you know that I lost my Dad in November of 2005. That was, and is, hard. Last evening I got a phone call from my mother, who has moved in two doors down from us and about three hours away from her "home base". This is important to the story so hang with me if you can.
As I answered the phone, Mom's excited voice on the other end said, "I just saw your Dad on TV!" I admit that for a second I had to wonder what in the world Mom was talking about but she went on to explain that she was watching a religious broadcasting channel and it was showing an older event that had happened at Penn State several years ago. It was during this time that my Dad managed a Radio Station and other ministries in the area and they had co-sponsored Ravi Zacharias coming into the area. While Ravi was there he did a question and answer time in Eisenhower Auditorium on the Penn State Campus. For whatever reason this was being replayed last evening and Mom stumbled across it.
As Mom realized what she was seeing it occurred to her that She, Dad and other friends had been sitting on the front row. She began to strain to see if she could spot any of them. It was dark and grainy. She couldn't see anyone in the audience clearly. She wished/prayed that somehow she would be able to see Dad...then it happened. There he was with one of his best friends at his side full screen, arms crossed, listening for all he was worth and totally enjoying himself!
Mom said that she yelled his name so loud it scared her dog and cats. Amazing, isn't it? My Dad was not a television personality. After two years we would never expect to see him on TV anywhere. But here he was, in the Christmas Season when he is so much on our minds. I think it was a precious gift of our Heavenly Father to my Mom.
Definitely not a coincidence.
I just don't believe in those.

A few family pictures:
This was me with Daddy on my wedding day in 1989!

This was a happy Grandad with our three children back in 1995.

The summer of 2005 on a trip for the Radio Station to Papua New Guinea. This was just months before he went "home". He was soooo happy to make this trip!!! We knew he wasn't well but never thought the end would come so soon.